Team: The Cat, Warby, Si, "Balloonhead" Jackson, Spud, Cliffy, AJ, Ross, Jamey, Gaz (c), Craig
Subs: Naylor, The Old Man
After winning the week before, despite the powerhouse that is Naylor being absent, Archies made one enforced change - Spud started in the unfamiliar left-back slot.
Well starts don't get any more flying than the one Archies made. Within 5 minutes they were one up. Trickery from Cliffy on the right bamboozled the Cressington left back and he flicked a ball into the box, it then flopped off Gaz's flabby gut and fell nicely into his path. Despite cocking up the shot and hitting it straight at the keeper, the ball squirmed over the line and Gaz wheeled away celebrating like one of these "50 yard volleys" of his actually went in. 1-0
After 10 minutes there was another goal for Archies. A surging run forward from Warby saw him exchange a neat one two with someone, I forget who, and he fizzed a delightful ball across the box to the back post where Gaz tripped over his own feet and managed to scramble it home off his arse. 2-0.
Every forward ball caused disarray in the Cressington defence. Without Gaz fluffing chance after chance Archies could've threatened to put on a rugby score. But like a poor marksman, he kept missing the target. Finally, Craig had enough of the buffoonery of his strike partner and showed him how to do it. Somehow the ball bobbling through to him in the box and holding a defender off, he kept a cool head to slot it - Henry-esque - into the far corner. 3-0
Half-time 3-0
The second half was more of the same. Archies threatening to score at every opportunity with the Archies defence deflecting everything thrown at them. Then Mr Magoo, the ref, bizarrely adjudged that Ross had fouled a Cressington player in the box. Cressington gladly accepted this sliver of hope and slotted in the pen. 3-1. To be honest, the ref had a stinker. Randomly blowing for nothing fouls and when there were fouls he'd squeal "I didn't see it!" What the f***ing hell were you looking at then?
Anyway, despite the ref's incompetence both teams continued to search for more goals. Archies struck next. A nice move released Gaz down the right. Showing uncharacteristic composure he slipped the ball back for Craig who hammered it into the top corner. 4-1.
A lack of concentration allowed Cressington to score a second, but by then the match was nearly over. With 10 minutes remaining the gallant Naylor entered the fray, replacing the perpetually crocked AJ. Within minutes he nearly scored. If only the pass from Craig wasn't so sloppy and poor. He still made a valiant effort out of it, beating the keeper but putting it narrowly wide. Unlucky son.
Just after that, a scorching effort from 25 yards from Craig smacked the inside of the post and defying the laws of physics it bounced out. Craig was denied his hat-trick. At least he had a better goals to chances ratio than the wasteful Gaz.
Highlight of the Match: Balloonhead Jackson blocking a shot with his balls then crying like a little girl.
Goals: Gaz (2), Craig (2)
Assists: Warby, Cliffy, Gaz
MOTM: Warby
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