Porno FC V AOB Jacobs

Team: The Cat, Lego, Si, Man-Boobs Jackson, Warby, Ross, Cliffy, AJ, Lesser Twin, Craig, Gaz (c)
Subs: NAYLOR, Nath, Jamey



Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back
Guess who's back
Gue guess who's back
Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Guess who's back
Back bac back

Oh Yeah baby! After 4 agonising months out with a torn calf, hero and team inspiration, Naylor, makes a welcome return to the subs bench. Craig and, especially, Gaz knew they couldn't take their places for granted.
From the off Archies looked up for it. Within the opening minutes Cliffy was beautifully played through on goal by Craig, beat one man and took aim to surely fire in the opening goal. Wrong. He decided instead to put it so far over the cross bar that the game didn't resume for 5 minutes while the Porno keeper jogged the half mile to fetch it.

Now I'm not one to pick on people and highlight their errors and shortcomings, but sweet baby Jesus this game took the piss for "injuries". I thought gypos were meant to be hard and tough? Not feigning about on the floor for 5 minutes when they wanted a breather. It was so stop and start it was like watching Craig Jackson going on a run.

Now if Naylor has played from the start this game would've been wrapped up after about 20 minutes. But Gaz, Craig and Cliffy decided to have a little competition between themselves. This competition could have only been labeled "Who can be the biggest bellend and miss the easiest chance?" I've appointment myself judge here. The winner is.................Craig!!! One on one with the keeper, whole goal to slot it into, wide. Dreadful. Let's not even talk about the one where he bizarrely passed it to Gaz rather than scoring. Idiot.

Let me be serious for a moment. Dave the Cat pulled off a stunning save to keep it at 2-2. Brilliantly tipped a wicked dipping shot onto the bar when a goal looked certain. Good thing we have ever so slightly slimmer Dave the Cat rather than porky Cat who played earlier this season. Bet his missus is made up that there is one less chin to look at during love making. I hope the Jacksons don't picture that...

Anyway, the moment the millions... and MILLIONS of Naylor's fans had waited eagerly for. He entered the fray. Looking lean and trim and in superb physical fitness. His return was only a few minutes long and he put in a solid effort.

Oh yeah, Craig scored a decent winner in the dying minutes. The race for Golden Boot hots up!

Goals: Craig x2, Cliffy
Assists: Si, Craig
MOTM: Craig